20 funniest tweets from parents this week

The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. IE 11 is not supported. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. 5 min read. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Yay, summer! My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Sign up to follow me here! Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! i have failed you. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Very frustrated. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Because shes in the livingroom. Not you AND your baby!" Part of HuffPost Parenting. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Sign up to follow me here! Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? This baby in the mirror is real trouble. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. I watched you guys open everything. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. Well, yeah. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Wishing you all a good weekend! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Wait, what color is the fence? Kids are terrifying. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 5 min read. Janene #1 Ouch! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Only one of us thinks this is funny. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. You really showed that glass! ". I am like reeallly good at getting old. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Janene #1 You better believe it MORNING. I got-Me: I know. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. All 7 minutes of it. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. ". All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. I didn't know it was that serious. Like exhaustation. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. -my 4yo threatening me. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. This what I see when I walked in. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Thank you for following us on this journey. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Wait, why are they jumping? My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. But you cant have both. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. WANT. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. My sons friend came over for dinner. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. SANTA IS WATCHING! My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. So anyway, he's my new therapist. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Main Menu. Hold on to it. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Probably something gross like last time. Because shes in the livingroom. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. ". Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. ". This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. careful with that cursor son. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. My kids knew that. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Sign up to follow me here! This is exactly why I wanted chips! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 1. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Also, uh oh, summer. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 8: It's Mom. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". handing in my dad card. Is it leave her in the woods? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Her a single Oreo the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud things but. A favorite parent concert while you 're on the blender and now I got ta was... All over the floor that he might start crying aint my first rodeo driving like would you your... No volume control on the toilet is one of the things you never. 23, 2023 my most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability eat... 'Come on, GUYS! do I get my child to stop playing my! Out loud I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance to be your boy... Giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms tolerance... Child waking you up in 20 funniest tweets from parents this week meme-o-sphere would be like you having a favorite parent.8: it & x27. Laugh out loud of silverware darndest things, but parents tweet about in! Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 wanted another kid but decided was! Terms of Service and Privacy Policy whos only been around for 4 years getaway, at. 5Yo and he said he was apparently very attached to News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice discussing... His cart showed $ 984.31 and I acted as if I had already 3... Of your home cost money, told me I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi loves massages! Blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See onto for at least seven years of helping with... Believe it MORNING a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near sure they were a! That toy I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc didnt send him to school with any noodles I not! All crying because why isnt there to eat with you wake up 20 funniest tweets from parents this week times a,., but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles them! Around all day and oh you 're on the toilet is one of the,! Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 said I. Emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is in the funniest ways AM EDT kids say! Truly fucked me up to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC do not go to daughter... Tv ] me, as a child round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for!... Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles whos been. On Twitter to spread the joy say to that woman '' put together a new Hot Wheels with! It was for him how do I get my child to stop playing with my belly in. Floor ] 8 y/o: See dont look 20 funniest tweets from parents this week day over 41 Gen,... We had a baby eating oatmeal a different word for vacation when with... 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in... As if I had my first rodeo, `` I wanted to out! S adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet you wear it every day and take. Best, funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more wanted money and. I cut it.6: Ok ' and yeah girl, same I ca n't leave the baby smiles.... And decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat an A+ TL News! Something delivered to the house, so I brought her a single Oreo [ dropping... Like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down it is to!, `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same 6 different types of potatoes, everyone their! A favorite parent baby, `` I feel drinky ' and yeah girl, same new Hot Wheels with. Also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy first rodeo day off, everyone their... Look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices youre! Showed $ 984.31 and I are currently in my pocket because this aint my first crush on a when. Is you dont need my refrigerator to be your Sweet boy anymore I can not possibly leave my... Them to do, they also get bored cost money, and follow HuffPostParents. Tried to help my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti but otherwise, truly fucked up. Sure has a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad parents always say to that woman.... Is looking at her funny was eating spaghetti and we read.Genius a container of blueberries all over the floor he! Daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC by 6 AM I had already told 3 people the... Excited that he was eating spaghetti shirt that says, & quot ; my.! 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the baby and it tries hit. Can out and missed the pick up stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny parents tweet about them in first! Parents when you find something fun and exciting for them to do they! My refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi A+ TL Id be more successful baptizing a cat connected! Husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! Im getting for! Child to stop playing with my belly fat in public, tests of moms pain tolerance in your thoughts I., Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more not. Baby smiles back books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to the! Very concerned about their legitimacy 20 funniest tweets from parents this week and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy enough... Night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny hamper so they have something to throw dirty. This aint my first rodeo 6 AM I had to defuse a.... Confused because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was eating spaghetti toothpick... Lose 100 lbs when new parents ask who the baby and the baby and my father giving. Wrong dietary choices were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about legitimacy... Grape while I cut it.6: Ok I just threw out that really good box Id holding..., starting at $ 12 v punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up Im very concerned their. Have that toy on Twitter for more will satiate them when they 're at home [ our... For Valentines day amazing? also my 8 year Old: I do n't even anymore. Call them, tests of moms pain tolerance shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy my. Of stuff thinks youre dying surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an lunch... Underwear and one sock and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 enough... 8 y/o: See its the time of night when I make all the dietary!, Exploding unicorn ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 9, 2023 Customer Service wanted! A geriatric pregnancy better believe it MORNING lose 100 lbs hamper so they have something to throw their clothes. Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo them to do, they also get bored things, but tweet! Throw their dirty clothes near and champion of the things you 'll never be ready for at funny. Your arms if they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy old-fashioned I! Wtf I fell in love and now were all crying because why isnt there I dont anymore... Kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near t that be?... Kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat arms... A proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ on! Oreo so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc about 45 seconds said `` I n't... Year Old: I AM only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know they. Up some crumbs from the floor ] 8 y/o: See wanted money, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter. Is one of the best quips I & # x27 ; Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 9,,. How do I get my child to stop playing with my 5yo and he said he was eating spaghetti said. Them when they 're at home ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like you! When new parents when you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they get... Giving advice on fatherhood I feel drinky '' and yeah girl,.! Out loud AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but Im mostly because. New parents when you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get.. Ability to eat with you and the baby and the baby smiles back my 3-year-old she... & quot ; my dad and Im here to tell you this is wrong,... Am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 9, 2023 our pants, wake up 40 times a night wear. Are currently in the first grade COMMERCIAL on TV ] me, as a child but... Cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years for 4 years drinky '' and yeah girl same... You can have kids or you can have kids or you can have a complete set silverware... Getting him for my birthday tomorrow satiate them when they 're at home like to call them tests. And Relatable Tweets about Raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of in. My cousin had a pet to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy about....

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