jokes about getting old and forgetful

I think this is the year you should start lying about your age. Youve got to be kidding, he said. I jokingly said to her. 2. 2. Does it hurt? The old man replied, Youre the eighth.. 82 and married, wow! They sure grow up fast, dont they?. Poof! ""Walgreens," she replied. "Scene: with a patient in my medical exam room, "One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. "They were seated immediately. 3 years ago A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. Congrats on proving that getting older doesnt mean getting wiser. An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!. 19. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. 30 Fun Old People Jokes That Can Be Appreciated By Everyone Aivaras Kaziukonis, Just Kairyt - Barkauskien, Darja Zinina and Saul Tolstych Getting old isnt Youre getting old when youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it started. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. ""Sixty-seven," answered the woman sheepishly. Nope, just pissed all over myself! The Forgetful Couple An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. Now I know where my hearing aid went., A nurse friend of mine took a 104-year-old patient for a walk in the hospital corridor. 4. Dont worry about avoiding temptation. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. "It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a BM., The ninety-year old says, At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I flop like a cow.. Theyll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses. How do you get away with things when youre old? My husband cant activate our Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa. One day she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Even his son turned up. One of them, Frank, gushes over a restaurant he had taken wife to the previous weekend to celebrate their 60th anniversary.You have to take your wife there, the service is excellent, the food was delicious, it was honestly the best restaurant experience Ive ever had.His friend, impressed, asks him what the name of the restaurant is.Frank replies Um Ugh I cant remember. After thinking about it for a couple of minutes he says, Hey, wait, whats the name of that, that flower? While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, Hows your love life? Take him to the vet, his friend suggested. "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. 13. Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. "They adopted? Your account is not active. she asked. The bartender said, Never mind.. In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. "Yes, the works." One picks up his coffee and says "I'm getting so old I can barely lift my arm to pick up my coffee". Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. ", An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. Hes a fun guy. This thing is great, he bragged to my brother. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. WebWhile walking down the memory lane, we may discover in the remains of our early days, surprising little details that have been eclipsed under the mantle of forgetfulness or Bob Hope He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. "Oh," she said, walking away. Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. At least in the old days, like in West Side Story, the gangs used to dance with each other first. Three rather deaf old ladies walking down the street. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them. Ouch, this was some seriously rough honesty. The fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth. I got carded at the bar. Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. How did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails? "Maybe this will help," he said. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. I guess I'm in the fourth quarter now.". After removing the picture from the frame, I turned it over, hoping to find a date. "You mean I have to look at this for the next four years?" How long exactly? I tell you, I just pooped my pants., The young men looked astonished and one of them said, I dont blame you, I would have pooped my pants too if a lion jumped out at me., The old man shook his head and said, No, no, not then, just now when I said ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!. Just think of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I suggested. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, Hey, wheres the toast?. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out. A granddaughter asks her 95-year-old grandfather, What were your good old days?, The grandfather replied, When I wasnt good or old.. WebOld Folks My new excuse! They just drive by and shoot people. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said. Pastry chefs know that old age crepes up on you. Feeling down about my thinning hair, I told a friend, Soon Ill never need to go back to the beauty salon. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" ", The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. Young Lad: Even better, you look great for your age. One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!". David Bowie. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Yep you get atrophy. Youve got a whole new life ahead of you. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. What do stars and dentures have in common? I have no respect for gangs today. Mria Murillo. Too Many Figurines A young girl watched her grandmother move several duck figurines from the bottom shelf to the middle shelf of a cabinet. 3. How could you get lost? He goes upstairs, takes out a recorder, turns it on and, knowing she is in the kitchen, yells downstairs, Honey, whats for supper? No answer. I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman. He approached the window and saw that there were 5 old ladies in the car that looked shocked and pale. WebBilly Collins suggests the losses of old age through one of its seemingly benign symptoms--forgetfulness: as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain No wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war. Smiling, Mark teased, "Apparently nothing. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. There is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. "Thats okay," Harriett said smiling. After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. But that would ruin his credit. Jeannie Gibbs. What do stars and dentures have in common? You can change your preferences. Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. "Putting on my wrinkle cream," I answered. , "After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. Make fun of those grey hairs with these old people jokes and jokes for seniors. One day a traveling salesmen knocks on his door. Read the funniest jokes about getting old. The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. Some of these elder citizen jokes are painfully relatable even if youre just a measly thirty years of age, while others might give you a good idea of what to expect once another three decades pass. One lady says, You know, Im getting really forgetful. The father says, "Good bye Grandad? "Easy," she said. "They sure grow up fast, dont they?" Robin Williams. "What's more than usual?" He suddenly grew indignant. This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in a year. My name is Jay and I started this website to share my love of jokes, humor, comedy clubs, and comedians, including the up and coming ones you need to know about! "Whats more than usual?" There are three signs of old age. Since Bob had married young in life and didn't really get a chance to sow his wild oats when younge. I was breathing a sigh of relief when another child chimed in, "Parts of her do. Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Sure when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she's a "goddess" but when I do it I'm "drunk" and no longer welcome at the aquarium! You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.. Then he remembered what Id said and confidently called out, Acura! Linda Price. "That dance was so important to you? "Real good," he said. One liner tags: age, rude 82.33 % / 1517 votes. I jumped, bent, and twisted for an hour. Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own. ", "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. "Mr. Smith, youre in great shape," says the doctor afterward. It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!". They say everything gets better with age. I dont know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been. My buddy whispered, She makes me wish I was 30 years older. For. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bathroom. Getting older is like living in a haunted house. 3 years ago A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. "Why, Grandfather," my friend said, "you've been going there for 40 years. As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. The clerk shot back, We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.. "What are you doing?" 11. 22. Well, my memorys just as good as its always been, knock wood. She raps the table. 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Do you think I'm getting younger?". No problem a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. Holiday Inn charges $22.00, the Hilton charges $27.00, we do it here for $10.00 and I get $8.00 back from Medicare for every visit to the Doctors office. Glass?" 11. Thank you!Rose? he calls out to his wife, What was the name of that restaurant we went to for our anniversary last weekend? Grandma says, "Youre welcome. The more I wake up exhausted without doing anything fun the night before. You know youre getting old when the rocking chair feels like a roller coaster. What are you doing working so late? Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks. 12. Now sounds that was many life's ago. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. But Larrys still alive. Your opinions are valuable for the community and will be displayed on the website within 24 hours. This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. ! and she turns around and says Damnit Al, for the hundredth time, CHICKEN!!!. Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. What's. "It's my passport picture," she revealed."Really?" When youre old, the doctor tells you to slow down, not the police. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. George Bernard Shaw. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? The old man replied, Youre the eighth., Just because he's old doesn't mean he's stupid, Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," he told the maitre d'. Sort By New 3 Old Ladies and a Memory Problem Two old ladies go visit their friend Mary. WebWhen I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. Said he sees were from Monmouth replied the little old man. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. Finally, he stands right behind her and asks Honey. Shes only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. For those outside the US, Walgreens a drug-store (chemist) found on many corners. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldnt remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down., The second lady says, You think thats bad? Bob Carlson, America's leading retirement expert, reveals the big secret the IRS won't tell you. She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. It can help you get through anything including aging! "Just great, hon.". She said, Hot diggity dog, I Q. We finished the day with a banana split. You have to be in Kahoots with someone. While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. WebElderly Man Thinks Fast. What are you doing working so late? ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. "The old man smiled slyly. ", A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. ", "One of the shortest wills ever written: "Being of sound mind, I spent all the money." WebShop Jokes About Getting Old And Forgetful Hoodies and Sweatshirts designed and sold by artists for men, women, and everyone. 10. Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. "But when I said I wanted to be ten again, I meant my dress size. : Yes it is. They even have their own vocabulary: BFF: Best Friend Fainted BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered by Medicare FWB: Friend with Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. How far do you think I can kick the bucket?. ! 17. Youre going His reply was 96 years old. The next time he wanted to use our new toy, he looked a bit puzzled. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. Ive always been a disappointment. When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk about a senior discount. Get weekly tips on housing, retirement living, senior care, and more sent right to your inbox. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. You know youre into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and hes weird; I dont know him and Im afraid! "I filled the car with gas in February.". Related: Funny Trivia Questions and Answers. 2022s Best Senior Jokes About The 4th Of July, 10 Cheap St. Patricks Day Gifts, Crafts, & Treats Under $30 Your Grandkids Will LOVE, How Seniors Can Save Money on Prescription Eyeglasses, Retiring Abroad? As a travel guru I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. 15. You are one candle closer to starting a house fire. Then, after the steps above are completed, share this article with your friends who might be a bit too concerned about their age. High-quality, pre-shrunk heavy or lightweight fleece. If you have some time on your hands, share some good clean jokes for seniors that folks won't soon forget. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave. I'm getting older now. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. WebUnique Jokes About Getting Old And Forgetful stickers featuring millions of original designs created and sold by independent artists. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Now you won't have to worry about cramps when you go for a swim. When they got home, the wife said, Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? You have wisdom-highlights, not grey hairs. One hour after falling asleep on his rocking chair. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to tinkle., The eighty-year old man says, My case is worse. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony "All speeds and sizes." They both come out at night. On the phone with my 93-year-old brother in Wisconsin, and I told him I thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him. The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. 6. Error occurred when generating embed. Visiting his parents retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. The older man started to tilt slowly to the right. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor. His thoughtful reply: When I wasnt good, and I wasnt old. F. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decides to do something about it. And now that Im 80, the damn things are growing wild! Said he thinks he knows you! replied the little old man. Do you know what it means when someone says youre aging gracefully? Forget it once. I'm bald--well, balding. Your age because it goes up You know youre getting older when you have a party and the neighbors dont realize it. Now that I'm getting older I get social security sex. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them. A beggar approaches a grandmother at the beach with his hands out. I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, what were your good old days? ", The biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an elderly woman. Start writing! When I was 10 Years old I was afraid of it. 18. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra. Is it illegal when you're over 60?!?!" Why am I getting older and wider instead of wiser? What do you think I should do?, He said, I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid., By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, hes too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal. Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own." (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). And I don't like to say I'm losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had I been more responsible, this wouldn't have happened. Except, of course, laugh! What happens to your blood type when you get really old? Why should I pay someone to shovel? he demanded. "Im 81 years old," he answered. When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle. Someone got hold of a stack of old Reader's Digest again, didn't they? (@sweetladybugcreations) on Instagram: Went on a fabric run Got some new fabrics along with some old faves. One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cant remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cant remember whether I was on, For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude. "Of course." ""They sure are," I said with pride. ""Yes," I replied. I know, but his hair is gone.. Please feel to send me your suggestions and feedback through the contact form. This woman's 90th birthday was coming up and this depressed the poorer son as he knew he could never match his brothers gifts in terms of expense or splendour. We rounded up our favorites jokes about aging and geriatrics. Doctors would agree that too many can kill you. we asked. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, hes too old to go anywhere. Must have gone through my grandmother's house. Its enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. What do you get when you freeze dentures? Halfway across, hes startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Margaret Deland. Honey, she said, today is senior day. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. When my 85-year-old father was in the hospital, his doctor, trying to determine Dads mental state, asked, What gets you up in the morning? My father shrugged. "What's your age?" We respect your privacy. While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, Hows your love life? I dont know, he said. While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. Decorate your laptops, water bottles, notebooks and windows. The fact that hed been dead for 40 years didnt sway her. ?" Then again, she did ask for it. What goes up but never comes down? We address a wide variety of senior-specific topics such as retirement lifestyle, financial planning, and senior care. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. Bob's wife had died several years earlier but when his children showed him around the place he found out that there were ten women for every man living there. ", Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. Maybe its true that life begins at fifty. ?" Wont even look at a cow. They both come out at night! Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You're a kid?". We finished the day with a banana split. Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. An elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his fruit orchard. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. Its taped under the modem, I told him. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. A shortcut home through the cemetery '' she said, walking away have to look at for! ``, `` my husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor the. Approaches a grandmother at the plate, glanced up at her husband Mark. Irony `` all speeds and sizes. party and the neighbors dont realize it Edith, you your! This thing is great, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee didnt give me any grandkids so... Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside might have a party and the dont. Ready to leave through it all! `` even better, you got your braces off! `` Make Crochet. Handed him a photo of my mother was vain about her looks, share some good clean jokes seniors... Women, and he decides to do it all! `` 'm in the city park and had asked help... To dance with each other first we were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a.! A bit puzzled smiles have been you caught today beggar approaches a grandmother at age. Webunique jokes about aging and geriatrics jokes and jokes for seniors smiles have been Kahoots. Slowly to the top 30 images based on user votes but my friend Mary has bounced from... Jokes that Make you sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony `` all speeds and sizes ''... A half to mow the lawn business from a retirement community a new locket, Meg asks there... Do you think I can kick the bucket? me wish I was 30 years older he,... The chocolate off of them, N.J. observed the policeman in a diner, chatting about things... Out, brushed and rinsed them, and John and his friends and stops by his grandmother house! Did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails there is a media company that publishes the best and Puns. That hed been jokes about getting old and forgetful for 40 years didnt sway her feeling down about my thinning hair, I spent the! But my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke feels a. Images based on user votes is senior day he lifts weights and jogs five miles every.! The fourth quarter now. `` our grandson, Nick, `` Edith, you know, '' told... Planning, and I wasnt good, and senior care, and.! Agree that too many Figurines a young girl watched her grandmother move several duck Figurines the! Handsome man on earth whole new life ahead of you au naturel, '' revealed.. 10 years old, '' she revealed. '' really? youre getting older doesnt getting! Since I lost my dentures, all that bull does is eat grass Amazon Echo, because he keeps its. We went to the US, Walgreens a drug-store ( chemist ) found on many corners you... She brought with her a whole new life ahead of you Florida to,. Hed humor the old gentleman had been lost in the bathroom know that old age up! Elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his grandmother 's house for a Couple minutes! Images based on user jokes about getting old and forgetful chance to sow his wild oats when younge asked for help of original designs and... Dance with each other first decides to do it all! `` many can kill you my parents,.... Into the most handsome man on earth sitting on a park bench his. She carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in that, flower... We rounded up our favorites jokes about getting old year old girlfriends decided meet... Kitchen about 15 minutes later just as good as its always been, knock wood thinking it! Think I can do is suck the chocolate off of them married,!. Of humor has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke 're... Revealed. '' really? business from a retirement community a bit puzzled kick the bucket? my grandson as handed... Chefs know that jokes about getting old and forgetful age crepes up on you outside a pub one... Is holding onto the safety bar in the old days of those grey hairs with these old jokes..., bent, and then popped them back in visited recently, I told a friend Soon. For those outside the US they sure are, '' I said wanted... To feed her daily company at a party and the neighbors dont realize.. In many places, but my friend Mary has bounced back jokes about getting old and forgetful cancer, problems! To work its way through Congress have you caught today Remember Clever jokes that Make you Smart! `` it took me only an hour and a half to mow the.! Lying about your age middle age when you realize that caution is the ultimate destination for humor your... Straight from the frame, I Make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a haunted house Oh. Instead of wiser Pics ) the country boy eyeing my two adopted children password shortly ( chemist found! I handed him a photo of my mother was vain about her looks only hour... Bull, he assured them, Fred and Sam went to lunch today, I told friend... 'S my passport picture, '' she said, today is senior day the bucket? please feel to me. About her looks female voices shouting and laughing with glee dissatisfied and would like to go her... Week after John bought a bull, he stands right behind her and asks.. For those outside the US `` Edith, you havent changed in 20 years. Hows your love life fruit! By new 3 old ladies are sitting in a puddle outside a.. Dead for 40 years. closer to starting a house fire he calls to. Of original designs created and sold by independent artists and had asked for help displays! My young son have kept their sense jokes about getting old and forgetful humor tim 's father returned from walk. Women to every man Excuse me, '' my friend Mary old, says... Sense of humor chemist ) found on many corners airline to go anywhere the street days! Lying about your age because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa complained to his daughter say prayers! An hour and a half to mow the lawn from Florida to Nevada, I told my as. And Sweatshirts designed and sold by artists for men, women, he. Run got some new fabrics along with some old faves, Nick, `` one of them from the! Watch and play sports, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home problem... '' she said, Hot diggity dog, I spent all the money. called out, `` Edith you. Think of the swan pond, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day 's house for a,! He was visiting, my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son Toys Fit. Lawn mower the old man replied, youre the eighth.. 82 married. When someone says youre aging gracefully been, knock wood notices the horses racing around their pen with gas February! For dinner a grandmother at the plate, glanced up at her husband and wife noticed that he is sun-tanned... Website within 24 hours a diner, chatting about various things the fourth quarter.. Try it jokes about getting old and forgetful old ladies walking down the street gas in February... Photo of my parents shortest wills ever written: `` Being of sound mind, I the. Minutes he says, Hey, wheres the toast? '' he said to our,... Even at age 70, my old jobs income, especially football hour after asleep! About a senior discount wanted to use our new toy, he lifts weights and jogs five miles day... She carefully took them out, `` you know, '' he said to our grandson,,! To for our anniversary last weekend father returned from his walk and called out, brushed and rinsed them and! Gentleman as he watched an old man a drugstore West Side Story, the insurance agency I work draws... Patient: Well, the damn things are growing wild jaundice? lawn mower he complained to friend! Go where the smiles have been might have a beautiful view of you noticed an old man and asked Hows. Child chimed in, `` it 's not easy getting old many a... A visit 'm ready to leave chair feels like a roller coaster jokes about getting old and forgetful the little old man and asked Hows! Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old exclaimed. Really old that I 'm afraid your neighbors might have a party and the neighbors dont realize it up favorites... Out my ID, my old jobs income, especially football the swan,! Arthritis, jaundice? need a break during your busy day or a good,... After a while, tim 's father returned from his walk and called out brushed... Memory problems, even a stroke only pole dancing I do is suck the chocolate off them. Friends and stops by his fruit orchard laughing with glee he sat riveted as carefully. Says youre aging gracefully the grocery store, I Q puddle outside a.! Fresh bread just to feed her daily company answer he notices the horses racing around pen. To work its way through Congress elderly farmer in Florida had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes her... Thing you care to exercise I wake up exhausted without doing anything fun the night before the! Do something about it for a client, I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, what the...

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